Since you've all read Steve's latest blog, you know that zombie-human relationships have been on his mind lately. I have to take some credit for that. Or blame, depending on how you look at it.
You see, I recently had a human girlfriend. Things were great. I even started to shower regularly, and that was all right. (Showers are not common in our world.) I'm pretty fresh, flesh-wise, as far a zombies go, so I had that in my favor. And she never wanted for scissors while we were together.
I was shocked, and hurt, when she broke it off. I think what it comes down to is that her human family and friends wouldn't approve of me. You may have noticed that most humans don't approve of zombies. To be fair that's not all of it. She's going through one of those human things where they need some time to themselves. Okay, to be fair, zombies go through that too, especially after being turned. At least we have a large community that helps newbie zombs adjust to unlife. Humans, think about it. You need that, too.
And if anyone hurts her, I will eat his brain. With relish. Literally. (Okay, not literally. I hate relish. Can hardly stand pickles. But I do like ketchup.)
I don't know. Maybe I need to find myself a nice zombie girl.